nessims:

Cons of living in a dorm: stinky roommates.

Stinky roommate’s face is pricelessssss

*on the phone*

Yeah, like all I did was turn on the thing on and now the tub looks like a Six flags water ride.

So this is what $25 icecream looks like

Ky and I decided to throw a gift-giving party, just so I could get to know some people around the neighborhood. But she invited so many people that I had to pop a squat on the floor.

Most of them were artsy weirdos like her, but way weirder. Iqbal kept sucking on the shrimp before he ate it, and I begged Kyra to let me kick him out but she said he’s got a lot of pull or something, so I didn’t.

And Shelley…oh my god Shelley. We told her it was a semi-formal event. and she came in this slutty lace-up contraption and we were staring at her panties all night. Swear.

….and then Ky reminded me that I never changed out of my swimsuit. But I’m pretty sure my swimsuit was more conservative than that thing Shelley had on.

I got an art easel out of the whole ordeal, though, so that was cool.

When I first talked to Ky a few months ago about staying with her, I had no idea what the sleeping arrangements would be. I knew she had a guest bedroom, but I was honestly expecting like, an air mattress or a sleeping bag or a bean bag chair or something. 

I definitely wasn’t expecting this.

The room was huge. There were tons of books and cds and a freaking Mac desktop computer. It was beyond anything I could’ve ever imagined. How could she know me so well? We’ve barely talked since I was 12.

Me: I’m pretty sure the things in this room cost more than your college tuition.

Kyra: So you don’t like it?

Me: No, I love everything about it! I just can’t believe you did this for me. You knew what books to put on the shelves and everything…

Kyra: Riley, you loved those books when you were a toddler, and you were still in love with them when I left. If I learned one thing about you in those 12 years, it’s that you don’t change very much.

Kyra completely ignored everyone’s negative comments and majored in Art at OSU anyway, and now she has an amazing job painting for museums all over the country.

Sometimes she gets to paint murals around town, and she does caricatures at birthday parties when she can. Despite what everyone said, there’s tons of things you can do with an Art degree.¬†Plus, her house is 1000x nicer than any place my mother could ever afford…

Y’know, sometimes you just gotta do what you feel is right.

"I’m so glad you’re staying with me, it’s gonna be so much fun!"

It’s been 6 years since I’ve seen Kyra. The day she turned 18, she got into a huge fight with our parents and eventually Mom ran out of comebacks and just said “Get the hell out of my house” and Kyra did just that.

Long story short, I turned 18 last week and Mom asked me what I was going to do with my life and if I was going to be a pathetic loser like my sister. I told her I wanted to be a writer, and now I’m living with Kyra in Toledo.

And guess what? Kyra supports my dream of being a famous blogger.

Take that, you old saggy tit of a mother.